Jamaias DaCosta is a musical artist, writer and
activist journalist, and is mixed identified of Jamaican (Colombian(Indigenous,
African), Portuguese, African, South
Asian, Sephardic Jew) and Irish, Kanien’keha:ka, Cree and French descent.
Through broadcast and print journalism, music, creative writing, and education
her work consistently involves an exploration of resistance, identity and
examination of colonial oppression, decolonial thought and processes and
cultural expressions.
Jamaias is a member of the multi-disciplinary
artist/activist org R3 Collective; is Host and Producer of The Vibe Collective
on CIUT 89.5FM and is the Producer of Indigenous Waves Radio, also on CIUT
89.5FM. Jamaias is also a workshop facilitator and has held workshops at both
grade schools and universities in Toronto around stereotypes; Indigenous
education and decolonial thought. Jamaias has also worked with Caribbean Tales
and has written for the CBC, First Nations House Magazine, U of T’s Independent
Weekly and several news and community blogs.
For those of us who
are mixed, not just with NDN blood but any thing that is considered “different”
or “unique” or “exotic”, this is a
statement that is heard repeatedly “Really? You don’t look it”. From the moment I was first asked “What
are you?”, the response is most often “…you don’t look it” or “Really? I thought you were (blank)” or
some other presumption of that nature. And the reality for many mixed people,
is that the above statement is mild compared to some of the other expressions of
opinions on our identities people have and feel completely free to
express. Often we mixed folks are
viewed as an aberration, since we do not fit neatly into a box or category.
For many who are
mixed there is conflict and tension when we attempt to dialogue about dealing
with prejudice, especially when we consider shadism and privilege. The lighter the mixed person’s skin,
the more privilege the individual has access to. And unless that access and
privilege is carefully deconstructed and understood, it further removes the
individual from the point where the river of prejudice and cataloging
ethnicities meets the ocean of oppression felt for the majority of People of
Colour and Indigenous peoples.
Owning and
deconstructing what that means for our realities can be problematic because,
despite the white privilege, which can divide us from our darker skinned
brothers and sisters who’s identities have suffered in countless ways at the
hands of colonial white supremacy, mixed identities are in fact quite
vulnerable as well, due to several factors.
Most
often I am identified by the outside world as white. People see me and they see
a tanned white woman. My features are angular and pointed, and my skin, though
tanned as
soon as kissed by the
sun, is “light”. For me, this has meant I am often rejected or scrutinized for
authenticity, not just by white people but also by PoCs and Indigenous folks.
At the same time, there is this ridiculous tokenization by white people who
feel I am the safe common denominator. That can include an assumption that I
should go along when they speak with that exclusive "I'm not racist but
you know those people who..." rhetoric. My former boss (who thankfully has
been fired for all kinds of unethical behaviour) used to rib me with racist
commentary that I would call him out on, and then mock me to my colleagues
about how "sensitive" I am, and to watch what you say to her because she thinks she's (black/indian/native...etc.). Just another day in the life of anyone who is racialized, really.
There
is a very distinct feeling for those of us whose ethnicities are ambiguous in
any way of being stretched in multiple directions, across vast landscapes of
sociopolitical minefields. And despite many fantastic blogs and anthologies on
this subject, there is not a lot of dialogue in mainstream about this kind of
"mixed" or multi-racial reality, and the tension that comes with it.
So in the meantime, mixed identified individuals are fair play for prejudice
from all directions, especially when we give voice to all of who we are.
Despite all of this,
or more likely because of it, I have grown to see my white privilege as a
responsibility, to put that white privilege to work through various methods.
This includes holding up the mirror for white people who are blissfully
ignorant to the myriad ways in which the education system, the media, the
histories that we celebrate, the heroes we canonize, the holidays we observe,
are all encased within a Eurocentric, white supremacist framework. And how these ideologies purposefully
ignore the bloody and heinous history of colonization and replaces the word
"colonizer" with "settler" or "pilgrim". Further, the insidious attack on
Indigenous and PoC family structures, land resources, cultures, worldviews,
histories and of course because of all of this, identities.
For me, white
privilege chafes against my soul and my heart, and requires me to actively
deconstruct that reality every day and in every interaction. I often feel I am
wearing a disguise, and am constantly searching for ways to interject who I
REALLY am. I am a mixed identified person of Jamaican (Colombian(Indigenous,
African), Portuguese, African, South Asian, Sephardic Jew) and Irish,
Kanien’keha:ka, Cree and (just learned recently) French descent. (Try fitting
that casually into a conversation.) And because it requires so much time to
say, my identity takes up some space. It is usually either further scrutinized
or dismissed for being too complicated, which means that, unfortunately many
people walk away with their own assumptions about who I am, unless they have
encountered me in a space where they are able to see me and get beyond the
light skin to who it is that I am, and what it is that I do, and the
communities with whom I am engaged. My experience is often that with white
people, it means either fascination with the “diversity” or put out for having
been fooled. For PoCs and Indigenous folks, it frequently means dismissing me
as a wannabe or just another white girl. Clearly these experiences pale by
comparison (pun intended) in the oppression Olympics, yet are none the less alienating and tension making. The point is, that despite the work that I do, on the surface, I just don't look it. So identity becomes this heavy baggage, ever present, and forever unpacked.
1 comment:
EXCELLENT summary of the life of many "mixed" people. I am currently writing a book about the same issues and would love to feature some of your reflections.
I'm on FB: www.Facebook.com/checkonebox & Twitter: www.Twitter.com/checkonebox
Kindly,
Alysia Cosby
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