Did I Ever Tell You?

Did I Ever Tell You?

By: Christine McFarlane

Did I ever tell you that I don’t know what it is like to have a mother? A mother who can give me comfort, nurse a hurt, bandage a cut or wipe away my tears when all I am feeling is despair

There is a woman I know, who gave birth to me but I really don’t know her. She may have given me life but I was taken away from her when I was just six months old, through no fault of her own. My siblings were taken away from her too. Mother I ask you, How do you deal with that type of pain. Inside it would make me want to curl up and die. My heart aches for you but I am not sure how to reach out and heal that bond that was broken. I also don’t want to be hurt again either. What if I got in touch with you, got to know you and then you died shortly after? It would be another loss that I am not sure I can handle.

Did I ever tell you that what I have learned in life has been from strangers I have encountered on my journey in life. That they were the ones who taught me to keep my head up and tell myself “I will be okay’

Mother, I wish I had gotten that from you. I wish I knew you like a daughter should know her mother. Inside it makes me cry because instead you are out there and I barely know you. I call you Anna because to call you mom is something I do not know.

I often sit and ask myself, can a bond ever be healed. Will I ever know you like a daughter should. After all, Anna, you were the one who gave me life