Change Can Be Good

Changes are happening in my life and these changes are something that bring about many mixed feelings.

Dealing with change is difficult and I am sure that many people out there struggle when changes come about. Change can be anything that you consider to be life altering in some way or another- a birth and/or death in your family, moving, changes in your daily routine such as a new job or new opportunities that you knew in the back of your head were happening, but had not fully come to accept them.

In my case, this past month, I have had a few things happen, that really made me look within, learn about my strengths and how far I have come, see where my weaknesses are and learn to reevaluate what I can take on both in my personal and professional life.

In the past, I never dealt with changes in a way that was conducive to helping me move forward. I always found a way to self-sabotage because inwardly I believed that “I didn’t deserve these changes,” and that happiness was not something that I deserved.

I realize now that I am deserving of success and happiness just like anyone else, and this time around I am not going to sabotage how far I have come, because I am more secure in where I am in my healing journey. This became more evident to me when recently I had to go and visit my sister who was involved in a freak accident that had a metal awning collapse on her and land her in the hospital. I was able to swallow my fears to go down and see her and in the process run into the very people who hurt me so badly in the past-my adoptive parents. I was able to look them in the eye and not feel like I was going to crumble inside, or that I was going to run as soon as I saw them.  Essentially I took my power back.

Lastly, this year I will finally be graduating from the University of Toronto with an Honors Bachelors of Art degree in Aboriginal Studies and I will be travelling again to take part in a ten day student internship at San Ignacio University in Belize, Central America during the University of Toronto’s Reading Week where I will be visiting various Indigenous communities and sites.

I have come a long way, and inside I am most proud!