My Vices: By Christine McFarlane

I have four vices, maybe five but I don’t like uneven numbers. I will stick to the number four. My vices, diet coke, cigarettes, coffee and gossip magazines. They all feed into each other. When I don’t have access to one, my use of one of the others multiplies tenfold.

I don’t know why I have these vices specifically. I foolishly let myself believe that at least three of them are not that dangerous, but deep down inside, I know nicotine can kill, the aspartame in diet coke can kill my insides, the chemicals eating at my intestines. My gosh I once heard that coca cola can be used to clean machinery. I’m not a piece of machinery, far from it. I’m a living breathing entity. I deserve to treat myself better.

Coffee seems innocent enough but that’s why coffee shops make so much damn money. They know they can pull people in for that caffeine fix. People live for their caffeine fix. We live in a world where everyone’s rushing; no one understands that it is good to stand still once in awhile. Coffee is a stimulant and it keeps you going. It lies to the neurons in your brain making you believe that without that fix-you cannot live. Damn those headaches.

Gossip magazines, they’re another thing. There is something about seeing someone famous on the front page, and reading the lies that are manufactured about them. What happened to the days, when we took things at face value, and never risked telling something untrue because we knew it could get us in trouble. No one wants to face the wrath of knowing you’re living a lie. Gossip magazines, I like them. I dig into my pocket each week and buy two or three at the closest convenience store. I know its easier to read about someone else’s life, someone I don’t know and laugh at the drama than to deal with my own drama and look deep within myself.

I have my vices. I know that everyone does. My vices, I would like to believe that they are safe and keep me out of harms way, but deep down I know that they serve as a mask. A mask to what I often ask myself. I’m not sure I want to find out.